Comedy With Stretch Marks

I tell stories about love, marriage, children, divorce, dating after fifty, aging parents, hiking, perimenopause, shoes, and more shoes, sex, awkward sex, menopause, grown children, viagra, yoga, and popcorn.

Welcome to my life… silly, painful, hilarious, awkward and very cheeky!

I hope this makes you feel better about your own life, cause we all fall down. So we might as well laugh about.

ENJOY!

Do you feel like no one is listening?

I will listen to you with no f&#king judgment!

We all have shit to get off our chest!

Relationship stuff, kids, life, work, whatever!

You bitch about anything for 20 minutes for 20 dollars.

 

Book Your Bitch Session!

Let me entertain you…

Work with me…

The Blog

Naked Talk feat. Karly Nimmo

I kind of feel naked with a bloated belly in this episode. I was so lost in my own negativity spiral when I recorded this episode. Then I found Zofie and Relax Me Happy and my perspective has really shifted. Maybe I was not ready or maybe I did not have the right...

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Stalking Happiness feat. Zofie Lloyd-Kucia

Since my divorce, over 15 years ago I have been on a quest for happiness and enlightenment. Books, podcasts, audio tapes, audiobooks, mantras, yoga, prayer, meditation, therapy, retreats, seminars, grateful apps, A Course of Miracles (I've done the first two weeks a...

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Till Death Us Plan Feat. Michelle Pante & Reena Lazar

I have Michelle Pante & Reena Lazar on this episode from the glorious inspiring Willow EOL. They help us look at the things that may be scary but important to grasp because ultimately, looking at the end of our lives can inspire us to live fully right now....

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The Good Daughter feat. Kelly Carlin

I have the thoughtful, smart, talented Kelly Carlin in the studio today! We have a ton in common, both tendered & raised by professionally funny men. Chickenman & The Hippy Dippy Weatherman I am not sure I have discussed the fact my dad was Chickeman. He...

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Here's the Poo Poo Platter

I tell stories about love, marriage, children, divorce, dating after fifty, aging parents, hiking, perimenopause, shoes, sex, awkward sex, menopause, grown children, yoga, spiritual stuff and just about anything else I can think of...

And I have all kinds of ways of sharing my stories, audio, video, words and on my podcast. Below are some shortcuts. That's me ↓


Popular Posts

Working from Bed is Good prep for the Here After

You never have to make your bed. You don't have to wear shoes. You can work in many different positions. I know my sleep problems are most likely because I use my bed for things other than sleep. I have been told numerous times... don't look at your computer right...
SEYMOUR

Have You Ever Broken Your Johnny?

Things happen! And I need to know your middle name! I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. Walt Disney
SEYMOUR

Diary Of Dating A Pothead!

I don't think the break up was really about the amount of weed he smoked... it was the shoes. My thoughts on the green leafy thing have changed over the years. No weed was actually smoked in the making of this Love Bite. I smoked pot in college, and in the Army…” – Al...
SEYMOUR

Dear Writing God!

Dear WG, I am sorry I have not written today. I feel like I let you down. I did stare at my computer for hours, though, and did something constructive – I returned a pair of shoes (jeweled flats), because on my little feet they made me feel like an old Jewish lady...
SEYMOUR

Breakup Induced Pity Sex

Sometimes you need a palate cleanser after a break-up. Honestly Lisa's Love Bites! Comedy with Stretch Marks.
SEYMOUR

I Got Love Bite's?

Love Bites are re-creations of real deal conversations from my love life. Little mini ROM-COM's for your ears. You can listen to the one below and if you likey click here to listen to more.

Popular Posts

Working from Bed is Good prep for the Here After

You never have to make your bed. You don't have to wear shoes. You can work in many different positions. I know my sleep problems are most likely because I use my bed for things other than sleep. I have been told numerous times... don't look at your computer right...
SEYMOUR

Have You Ever Broken Your Johnny?

Things happen! And I need to know your middle name! I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. Walt Disney
SEYMOUR

Diary Of Dating A Pothead!

I don't think the break up was really about the amount of weed he smoked... it was the shoes. My thoughts on the green leafy thing have changed over the years. No weed was actually smoked in the making of this Love Bite. I smoked pot in college, and in the Army…” – Al...
SEYMOUR

Dear Writing God!

Dear WG, I am sorry I have not written today. I feel like I let you down. I did stare at my computer for hours, though, and did something constructive – I returned a pair of shoes (jeweled flats), because on my little feet they made me feel like an old Jewish lady...
SEYMOUR

Breakup Induced Pity Sex

Sometimes you need a palate cleanser after a break-up. Honestly Lisa's Love Bites! Comedy with Stretch Marks.
SEYMOUR

I Got Love Bite’s?

Love Bites are re-creations of real deal conversations from my love life. Little mini ROM-COM’s for your ears. You can listen to the one below and if you likey click here to listen to more.

Shop My Instagram!

Don’t ever ask someone if they’re pregnant unless you see a leg hanging out between their legs.

My nail lady looked in my eyes when she massaged my hands today. It felt so intimate I started to giggle.

When I was eighteen, I got a tattoo of Janis Joplin on my hip. When I got pregnant, Janis grew and grew and grew, then snapped back. Now she looks like a sad Woody Allen.

I have to work so hard not to fart when I sneeze.

Is it wrong when I see a nice guy my age and wonder how healthy his wife is?

I wonder if my cat likes me, or is that a reflection of how I feel about myself?

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