There is a hairy naked man lying in my bed, and I don’t even know his middle name.

He’s wearing obsession and I’m wearing cucumber scent together we smell like shwarma. It’s our third date, the sex date. My mom fixed me up with him.

He’s the first man I’ve been naked with since my husband. My mother met him at temple. I had seen him there myself in carpool line. He’s not my normal type; he’s nice.

Our first date he took me to a fish restaurant and he gave me a very nice good night kiss. And said he’s very oral and he’s in flooring. I said I worked in the family business. I write funny radio commercials. On the second date he took me to a Cheap Trick concert- and he went down on me, not at the concert but later… and it was amazing. He’s mature, he’s nice… I think I love him… we’ll have a blended family, take our kids to the Grand Canyon. (Brady bunch hum) Six Flags, and honeymoon in Paris. Have a dog- named Tiger. One big happy blended family, The Jacobs Bunch. Mrs. Jerry Jacobs. Lisa Orkin Jacobs

So this was the night.


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