Brief History of Me
Bunny Grosky and Dick Orkin followed a recipe, “How To Make A Girl,” from Ladies’ Home Journal.
Nine months later I was born in a news van.
In preschool I met Jay-Jay, my first love. Jay-Jay gave me a Valentine heart full of chocolates and took me to the movie, “The Computer Who Wore Tennis Shoes.”
In first grade, my teacher’s name was Miss Garret. My dad told me it was Miss Carrot. I believed him. I called her Miss Carrot all year.
I Hula-hooped non-stop from 2nd grade to 4th.
I saw Oliver and fell in love with the Artful Dodger, a bad boy with charisma. I was never the same.
I played a bluebird in a school play.
When I was 7, I was on a radio show called Mini People with my dad.
My teacher said, “Lisa you are goofy, and goofy is not pretty for a girl.”
I learned from my friends that I was Jewish, and therefore not going to heaven.
I had my first kiss, we frenched. His name was Red… I think. He broke up with me the next day. I cried.
I learned a back handspring… I did thousands.
In Jr. High I learned that the louder I sang the higher the grade I received. I sang loud!
The school therapist told me I was failing because I had no sense of humor.
I got mono and was homeschooled.
We moved to Los Angeles and I met my future husband in a teen disco.
I did seven musicals in three years. Performed in Evita, Loves Labour’s Lost and The Boyfriend in German for the German State Theatre.
I had my daughter… life changed in the most beautiful way.
Back in Los Angeles, my husband looked at me and said, “You’re funny, you should do stand-up.”
I joined the Radio Ranch as a writer.
I became a paid regular at The Comedy Store, and I did commercials, sitcoms and a hugely successful show about married life.
Lots of dating and lots of stage shows.
I created my show Housewife in Blue.
I met Paula Killen and Shira Piven. Together we created Fully Loaded, the stage play, for the Upright Citizens Brigade. We had sell-out crowds for a year.
Dated too many men at once.
I created my show, Sex, Drugs and Minvans.
My mom passed on… my heart shifted forever.
The Los Angeles Times called me a cross between Anne Hathaway and Elaine May.
I made Fully Loaded, the film
I hiked up two waterfalls, through a beautiful valley to the top of Half Dome in Yosemite… my heart changed again.
Fully Loaded, the film, won top honors at The Palm Beach, River’s Edge and Carmel film festivals.
I got lost in a blizzard in Yosemite and prayed, “Please, God, don’t let me end as a story in Reader’s Digest, and please don’t make me have to eat my boyfriend to survive…. cause I really love him.”
Tripped and took a header on the red carpet at the Palm Beach Film Festival. Life was perfect.
I spent a year and a half living in a cabin Monterey. I learned to cook on a Coleman stove.
My heart had another giant shift.
Fully Loaded got a digital release, iTunes, Amazon…
I learned I never had mono… my parents lied. They just wanted me homeschooled.
My silly voices for Regionalhelpwanted.com are heard in more than 150 cities in the U.S. and Canada. People love me and hate me.
I became the Creative director at the Radio Ranch.