Comedy With Stretch Marks

I tell stories about love, marriage, children, divorce, dating after fifty, aging parents, hiking, perimenopause, shoes, and more shoes, sex, awkward sex, menopause, grown children, viagra, yoga, and popcorn.

Welcome to my life… silly, painful, hilarious, awkward and very cheeky!

I hope this makes you feel better about your own life, cause we all fall down. So we might as well laugh about.

ENJOY!

Here’s the Poo Poo Platter

I tell stories about love, marriage, children, divorce, dating after fifty, aging parents, hiking, perimenopause, shoes, sex, awkward sex, menopause, grown children, yoga, spiritual stuff and just about anything else I can think of…

And I have all kinds of ways of sharing my stories, audio, video, words and on my podcast. Below are some shortcuts. That’s me ↓

 

Popular Posts

What’s In A Name

Sometimes people confidently call me Linda. I'm okay with that... or to wimpy to correct them. There are worst things in life that could...

What if I’m in Love?

This week on Men are People Too,  we find out what it's like to be in love, and want to say those magical three words that haunt us all! Chris Bonno Occupation: Chris Bonno is a professional comedian and artist. –www.chrisbonno.com His fine art prints can be found at...

115: Dystopian Lisa Orkin’s Love Bites

Planning for the worst How to leave a love note on iTunes for my Podcast. From your computer: 1. Open the iTunes software on your desktop. (Not the web version.) 2. In the search bar (upper right-hand corner), type in “Honestly Lisa”. 3. Click on our album cover that...

I Slept with Ron Howard

  An Honestly Lisa confession... I had a sex dream about Ron Howard. Yeah, that guy. Not that I ever thought about Ron Howard in that way... Ever! But holy moly was it hot! He was a beautiful lover! And the whole thing was super dreamy, candlelight and he kept looking...

Love at Work Feat. Robbie Rist

I love Robbie! He is my creative soulmate!(I think this wording may make him feel weird) We both are excellent at self-sabotage and laughing at our ass crazy lives. He is my Love Bite Partner, the Yin to my Yan, my everything and smart monkey. (I am very emotional...

I Got Love Bite’s?

Love Bites are re-creations of real deal conversations from my love life. Little mini ROM-COM’s for your ears. You can listen to the one below and if you likey click here to listen to more.

The Podcast Pizza

The Latest Posts

Story, Story, Story! Feat. Marsha Shandur

Marsha Shandur is the shit and my spirit animal! Growing up in a Russian family, stories were in Marsha's blood, the currency of her family conversations. she received a psychology degree from the University of Edinburgh then did a 15-year stint as a Radio DJ, where I...

read more

Paleo Shmaleo! Feed Me! feat. Cristina Curp

I ate chocolate covered Strawberries on Valentine's day and woke with a migraine. I only ate four! I love food and it does not always love me! I don't do well-eating grain and sugar. Bloat, brain fog, and bad sugar numbers! So, I need to be creative in the kitchen......

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Episode Epic Danger feat. Nick McArthur

Every once in a while you find someone you know you have to be friends with and for me that's Nick. He is kind, tough, romantic, evolved and super real and cool. And this is why I love Nick, in Nick's words, "I’m a dude, with a wife, five kids an online business. I...

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I Blocked You!

  2017 you brought me to my knees more than once.   We fought and struggled but I am still here mother fucker.   I will not make friends with you!   I will let you go with kindness, tears, and anger. Don’t come knocking.   I deleted you and blocked you.   We will not...

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[enjoyinstagram_mb_grid]

Don’t ever ask someone if they’re pregnant unless you see a leg hanging out between their legs.

My nail lady looked in my eyes when she massaged my hands today. It felt so intimate I started to giggle.

When I was eighteen, I got a tattoo of Janis Joplin on my hip. When I got pregnant, Janis grew and grew and grew, then snapped back. Now she looks like a sad Woody Allen.

I have to work so hard not to fart when I sneeze.

Is it wrong when I see a nice guy my age and wonder how healthy his wife is?

I wonder if my cat likes me, or is that a reflection of how I feel about myself?

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