Comedy With Stretch Marks

I tell stories about love, marriage, children, divorce, dating after fifty, aging parents, hiking, perimenopause, shoes, and more shoes, sex, awkward sex, menopause, grown children, viagra, yoga, and popcorn.

Welcome to my life… silly, painful, hilarious, awkward and very cheeky!

I hope this makes you feel better about your own life, cause we all fall down. So we might as well laugh about.

ENJOY!

Here’s the Poo Poo Platter

I tell stories about love, marriage, children, divorce, dating after fifty, aging parents, hiking, perimenopause, shoes, sex, awkward sex, menopause, grown children, yoga, spiritual stuff and just about anything else I can think of…

And I have all kinds of ways of sharing my stories, audio, video, words and on my podcast. Below are some shortcuts. That’s me ↓

 

Popular Posts

How to Make a Man Commit

"Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time." Maya Angelou

111: Lisa Orkin’s Love Bites Don’t Love You Anymore

Just in time for Valentine's Day..   How to leave a love note on iTunes for my Podcast. From your computer: 1. Open the iTunes software on your desktop. (Not the web version.) 2. In the search bar (upper right-hand corner), type in “Honestly Lisa”. 3. Click on our...

How to Fall in Love Without Losing Your Head

Yes! I tend to lose my head when I fall in love. And at some point, I am so in I am willing to sacrifice all kinds of shit values shit to maintain a relationship. I know! Awareness is the first step! Falling in love is a bit like flying over the Bermuda Triangle, it's...

006 Normal Sex vs. Fantasy Sex

What is normal sex? On this week's episode, Kevin Forrest and Seth Shapiro are asked the hard questions about normal sex (whatever that is) vs. Fantasy Sex (whatever that is).  Kevin Forrest Kevin is The Fitness Answer Man at AskMeFitness.com  As a lifelong Fitness...

Sex Lessons: Stumbling Forward to a Mature Perspective

Title: Sex Lessons: Stumbling Forward to a Mature Perspective Guests: Kash Abdulmalik & Bob Beuth This week on Men are People Too, Lisa Orkin asks the guys how they learned to have sex. Was is a great partner? Was it videos on the internet? SPILL. Kash Abdulmalik...

I Got Love Bite’s?

Love Bites are re-creations of real deal conversations from my love life. Little mini ROM-COM’s for your ears. You can listen to the one below and if you likey click here to listen to more.

The Podcast Pizza

The Latest Posts

Story, Story, Story! Feat. Marsha Shandur

Marsha Shandur is the shit and my spirit animal! Growing up in a Russian family, stories were in Marsha's blood, the currency of her family conversations. she received a psychology degree from the University of Edinburgh then did a 15-year stint as a Radio DJ, where I...

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Paleo Shmaleo! Feed Me! feat. Cristina Curp

I ate chocolate covered Strawberries on Valentine's day and woke with a migraine. I only ate four! I love food and it does not always love me! I don't do well-eating grain and sugar. Bloat, brain fog, and bad sugar numbers! So, I need to be creative in the kitchen......

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Episode Epic Danger feat. Nick McArthur

Every once in a while you find someone you know you have to be friends with and for me that's Nick. He is kind, tough, romantic, evolved and super real and cool. And this is why I love Nick, in Nick's words, "I’m a dude, with a wife, five kids an online business. I...

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I Blocked You!

  2017 you brought me to my knees more than once.   We fought and struggled but I am still here mother fucker.   I will not make friends with you!   I will let you go with kindness, tears, and anger. Don’t come knocking.   I deleted you and blocked you.   We will not...

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Don’t ever ask someone if they’re pregnant unless you see a leg hanging out between their legs.

My nail lady looked in my eyes when she massaged my hands today. It felt so intimate I started to giggle.

When I was eighteen, I got a tattoo of Janis Joplin on my hip. When I got pregnant, Janis grew and grew and grew, then snapped back. Now she looks like a sad Woody Allen.

I have to work so hard not to fart when I sneeze.

Is it wrong when I see a nice guy my age and wonder how healthy his wife is?

I wonder if my cat likes me, or is that a reflection of how I feel about myself?

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