“Time made me stronger, you’re no longer on my mind”― Boyz II Men
I interviewed my ex-husband… wanted dig into his head to see if there were clues to my quest to find me. And find his take on our marriage. I think I was not as kind to him and was really about getting as opposed to giving. It could have been youth but really I had a lot of growing up to do.
We were married 18 years.
Dated for 2 officially and were together for 4 years.
Separated twice and divorced once.
And finally ended in 2000.
And we still talk.
We met at a teen disco called the Kaleidoscope, I asked him to dance. He said no.
I am such a dork I thought his name was Woody for weeks.
A relationship built on bickering and great sex.
Lee moved back to Jersey when we were 16. When his mom and dropped him off at the airport an Alice Cooper song came on and we both got got weepy.
Visited him in New York and went directly to Studio 54!
The First apartment was in Germany and had been an actual crime scene. There were evidence numbers on the couch. Creepy.
Early on, I put the something sexiest outfit I had and struck a pose. He couldn’t stop laughing for a solid 10 minutes. Never again.
We decided to have a baby, went to Greece and drank Ouzo and she was conceived.
Perpetual chain smokers that we were, we managed to both quit smoking when the rabbit died.
[Tweet theme=”tweet-box-normal-blue”]“Wait until she’s a teenager, then she’ll really start shitting on you.” -Grandma Bunny #honestlylisa [/Tweet]
Got a puppy right before having a baby, not the brightest idea.
I was probably fired 10 times in the first 10 years of our marriage, but I insisted on private school for our daughter.
I don’t know how we managed to keep our marriage together, I was a terrible housekeeper, couldn’t keep a job, and never wanted to have sex.
[Tweet theme=”tweet-box-normal-blue”]“Wow, was I mesmerized by her pussy!” -Lisa Orkin #honestlylisa [/Tweet]
Our dog Sidney ran away, and she was gone for like 3 months. Then I found her at the pound by accident one day. I lost my mind, Sidney lost her mind!
When I met Lee’s new wife at our daughter’s graduation, I had just gone spelunking and my legs were covered in bruises and scrapes. There she was, looking perfectly put together and there I was in a sundress and cowboy boots and bloody legs.
About 5 years into our marriage he turned to me and said, “Wow, you’re really funny!”.
We separated once and got back together. Lee cried for a year.
It ended really hideously, but it needed to so we could both grow.
[Tweet theme=”tweet-box-normal-blue”]“You can’t put the shit back in the donkey.” -Lee Cuellar #honestlylisa [/Tweet]
Did a musical together while living in Germany – The Boyfriend
[Tweet theme=”tweet-box-normal-blue”]“Live your life, and be happy.” -Lee Cuellar’s advice to his daughter #honestlylisa [/Tweet]
Questions for Lee:
If you could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, who would it be?
Lee: Elvis or Teddy Roosevelt.
How do you see yourself dying?
Lee: Screwed to death.
What is your favorite bush?
Lee: A carefully trimmed one.
[Tweet theme=”tweet-box-normal-blue”]“Knock it off or I’m going to hide your teeth!” A loving exchange between Lee’s Mom and Dad #honestlylisa [/Tweet]
We eloped and were married by a Joyce Bulifant look alike in a little White Chapel in Vegas. We couldn’t afford Elvis. Didn’t tell my parents until they found my marriage certificate. Whoops.