At one point in my life, I could make Stalin into Gandhi if he kissed right.

I want with all my heart to believe I have evolved past the illusion of a beautiful make-out session.

Past the 16-year-old that still just wants a cutest boy in class.

Lordy, Lordy I fear I have not.

My mother once told me to keep kissing if he’s a good man. Because in time, the kissing would improve and get downright chemical. 

According to my mother a breathless, heart racing kiss is just a feeling and completely in our mind. It’s not chemical –  it’s a mindset.

Sometimes, we know we are walking off the deep end and we do it with complete conviction. Cause it feels so fucking good.

What is that feeling!? Is it the same feeling we feel when we eat chocolate?

Yes, it is! It’s Oxytocin! The Chemical of love.

So should we find a good man that may not give us the crazy rush and just eat lots of chocolate? Nahhhh!!!!!!!!!!! What’s the fun in that! Eat lot’s of chocolate and kiss the guys that make you breathless!

Matt and Jeffrey were exceptionally candid and honestly developed crushes on both of them.

Want to satiate that “must have chocolate” craving? I love Spicy Maya Bars, seductive cinnamon, pasilla chile with cayenne bedded in dark chocolate. They’re on Amazon, click here to grab one (or ten!)

Jeffrey Johnson

“Perfection is for quitters” is what I say.
I like good scotch & simple pleasures, & trying to do right by Mother Earth & my fellow man & go Red Sox!”

Occupation: Performer
Relationship Status:  Who’s asking?
Sign: Aquarius
Celebrity Doppelganger:  Calvin OR Hobbes
Favorite Food: Steak and Potatoes

Matt Kirshen

Comedian, writer, host of Probably Science podcast.

Occupation: See above
Relationship Status: Who’s asking?
Sign: Really?
Celebrity Doppelganger: Matt Kirshen. (Am I the only guest who’s done this? Or are there other people who also look like Matt Kirshen?)
Favorite Food: Thai. Or maybe sushi. But not one of those Thai places that also does sushi. They’re not to be trusted.