Comedy With Stretch Marks

I tell stories about love, marriage, children, divorce, dating after fifty, aging parents, hiking, perimenopause, shoes, and more shoes, sex, awkward sex, menopause, grown children, viagra, yoga, and popcorn.

Welcome to my life… silly, painful, hilarious, awkward and very cheeky!

I hope this makes you feel better about your own life, cause we all fall down. So we might as well laugh about.

ENJOY!

Lisa Upside Down A Scripted Podcast

Here’s the Poo Poo Platter

I tell stories about love, marriage, children, divorce, dating after fifty, aging parents, hiking, perimenopause, shoes, sex, awkward sex, menopause, grown children, yoga, spiritual stuff and just about anything else I can think of…

And I have all kinds of ways of sharing my stories, audio, video, words and on my podcast. Below are some shortcuts. That’s me ↓

 

Popular Posts

Doctor it Hurts When I Do This…

When it comes to pain I always think of Henny Youngman,   • A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. • My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, "Cough!" • The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying,...

Is it normal to want to kill your partner over french fries?

When I was a kid my family would pay me not to sing. Now people pay me to sing.  I'm hoping to be paid to eat french fries very soon. If you try hard enough anything is possible.

Do you have to be funny just because you are Jewish?

This happened in third grade during recess in the monkey bar line.... Catholic Girl: Lisa, why are you so funny? Me: I don't know. Catholic Girl: Stop being funny. You don't want to grow up and be like Joan Rivers'. Me: Why not? Catholic Girl: Because she's Jewish....

How to Make a Man Commit

"Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time." Maya Angelou

Every Little Thing She Does is Magic Feat. Michelle Simkins

Michelle is one of those cool people who is unapologetically herself.... created her life the way she wants it & walks her talk. Growing up witches were either Bewitched or the Wicked Witch of the West, not the cool chick your friends with. That's why I dig...

I Got Love Bite’s?

Love Bites are re-creations of real deal conversations from my love life. Little mini ROM-COM’s for your ears. You can listen to the one below and if you likey click here to listen to more.

The Podcast Pizza

Lisa Orkin

The Latest Posts

Naked Talk feat. Karly Nimmo

Naked Talk feat. Karly Nimmo

I kind of feel naked with a bloated belly in this episode. I was so lost in my own negativity spiral when I recorded this episode. Then I found Zofie and Relax Me Happy and my perspective has really shifted. Maybe I was not ready or maybe I did not have the right...

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Stalking Happiness feat. Zofie Lloyd-Kucia

Stalking Happiness feat. Zofie Lloyd-Kucia

Since my divorce, over 15 years ago I have been on a quest for happiness and enlightenment. Books, podcasts, audio tapes, audiobooks, mantras, yoga, prayer, meditation, therapy, retreats, seminars, grateful apps, A Course of Miracles (I've done the first two weeks a...

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Till Death Us Plan Feat. Michelle Pante & Reena Lazar

Till Death Us Plan Feat. Michelle Pante & Reena Lazar

I have Michelle Pante & Reena Lazar on this episode from the glorious inspiring Willow EOL. They help us look at the things that may be scary but important to grasp because ultimately, looking at the end of our lives can inspire us to live fully right now....

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Kundalini starts where your Doo-Doo comes out feat. JP Sears

Kundalini starts where your Doo-Doo comes out feat. JP Sears

When I first saw JP Sears I fell in love with him, laughed my ass off and then I thought... WAIT! Woah, Nellie! Spiritual comedy is my bag! Then the more I watched the more I loved the door he opened! Then the more I watched the more I loved the door he opened! Then I...

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The Good Daughter feat. Kelly Carlin

The Good Daughter feat. Kelly Carlin

I have the thoughtful, smart, talented Kelly Carlin in the studio today! We have a ton in common, both tendered & raised by professionally funny men. Chickenman & The Hippy Dippy Weatherman I am not sure I have discussed the fact my dad was Chickeman. He...

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I’m a Prolific Time Waster? Feat. Ellen Goodwin

I’m a Prolific Time Waster? Feat. Ellen Goodwin

Do you waste time? Do you get lost in all the stuff you need to get done? I do! I do! That is why I am getting help form productivity expert Ellen Goodwin. I'm a time waster and sup disorganized. I try! I do! Honestly, I was the kid with the perpetually messy desk in...

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Don’t ever ask someone if they’re pregnant unless you see a leg hanging out between their legs.

My nail lady looked in my eyes when she massaged my hands today. It felt so intimate I started to giggle.

When I was eighteen, I got a tattoo of Janis Joplin on my hip. When I got pregnant, Janis grew and grew and grew, then snapped back. Now she looks like a sad Woody Allen.

I have to work so hard not to fart when I sneeze.

Is it wrong when I see a nice guy my age and wonder how healthy his wife is?

I wonder if my cat likes me, or is that a reflection of how I feel about myself?

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