Comedy With Stretch Marks

I tell stories about love, marriage, children, divorce, dating after fifty, aging parents, hiking, perimenopause, shoes, and more shoes, sex, awkward sex, menopause, grown children, viagra, yoga, and popcorn.

Welcome to my life… silly, painful, hilarious, awkward and very cheeky!

I hope this makes you feel better about your own life, cause we all fall down. So we might as well laugh about.

ENJOY!

Here’s the Poo Poo Platter

I tell stories about love, marriage, children, divorce, dating after fifty, aging parents, hiking, perimenopause, shoes, sex, awkward sex, menopause, grown children, yoga, spiritual stuff and just about anything else I can think of…

And I have all kinds of ways of sharing my stories, audio, video, words and on my podcast. Below are some shortcuts. That’s me ↓

 

Popular Posts

Kissing and “Chemical Collusion”: Falling In Love With A Bad Person

At one point in my life, I could make Stalin into Gandhi if he kissed right. I want with all my heart to believe I have evolved past the illusion of a beautiful make-out session. Past the 16-year-old that still just wants a cutest boy in class. Lordy, Lordy I fear I...

115: Get off Facebook! Lisa Orkin’s Love Bites

I'm just trying to understand why they voted for Trump. You have been listening to a Love Bite! Love Bite's are based on real conversations from my LOVE LIFE. The man in this episode and actually every Love Bite is played by the one and only Robbie Rist. We've made...

Naked Talk feat. Karly Nimmo

I kind of feel naked with a bloated belly in this episode. I was so lost in my own negativity spiral when I recorded this episode. Then I found Zofie and Relax Me Happy and my perspective has really shifted. Maybe I was not ready or maybe I did not have the right...

Is Groupon Killing Your Relationship?

“You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.” ― Khalil Gibran, The Prophet  

109: Lisa Orkin’s Love Bites: TV Talking

Lisa Orkin's Love Bites: TV Talking How to leave a love note on iTunes for my Podcast. From your computer: 1. Open the iTunes software on your desktop. (Not the web version.) 2. In the search bar (upper right-hand corner), type in “Honestly Lisa”. 3. Click on our...

I Got Love Bite’s?

Love Bites are re-creations of real deal conversations from my love life. Little mini ROM-COM’s for your ears. You can listen to the one below and if you likey click here to listen to more.

The Podcast Pizza

The Latest Posts

What’s Your Number? Feat. Nova Noell

What is numerology? Is there a rhyme to the science. Shelly Winter's told me I should change my name to Ollie Orkin. Would my life be different? Would I have 4 kid,s a great career and George as my husband? Or would I be an accountant living in Pheonix? And honestly...

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Self Portrait And Lopsided Self Love

I did a self-portrait. The first one I've ever done. I was hard it took a few tries and I gave on hands. I even put my lopsided boobs in it for authenticity. Grateful that I have both of them. My one boob misbehaved and had to give up a part of itself. I guess it...

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So, one afternoon I stopped by to check on him, he was sitting in the kitchen eating a tuna sandwich… completely naked with the neighbor lady Mrs. Martin, also naked, drinking tea out of my mother’s favorite teacup.

I stopped cold when I saw them; too far in the kitchen to back out they saw me. I quickly averted my eyes as to not see my father BRAVADO lying on the chair to Mrs. Martin, who’s seventy-something landing strip stared at me like an old Billy goat who was sticking his tongue out.

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Don’t ever ask someone if they’re pregnant unless you see a leg hanging out between their legs.

My nail lady looked in my eyes when she massaged my hands today. It felt so intimate I started to giggle.

When I was eighteen, I got a tattoo of Janis Joplin on my hip. When I got pregnant, Janis grew and grew and grew, then snapped back. Now she looks like a sad Woody Allen.

I have to work so hard not to fart when I sneeze.

Is it wrong when I see a nice guy my age and wonder how healthy his wife is?

I wonder if my cat likes me, or is that a reflection of how I feel about myself?

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