Previously a pastor. I met Ted at a Rob Bell lecture/seminar.

Ted is painting houses now.

Grew up in a legalistic Christian background. Was a pastor for about 17 years, expresses it was both the best and worst of times.

He didn’t know how to navigate depression that he’d experienced his whole life.

Lisa describes pea soup.

Ted needed an escape from his life, became secretive about his sex addiction and finally confessed his actions. “A boulder on my chest that was going to kill me dead.”

His wife saw two choices before her, and decided to stay with him, the road that led to life, not to darkness and resentment.

He was on skype with his counselor and said he wanted to leave his family. She responded, “are you a man who leaves?” – This question saved his life. “why am I?”

There are moments in life where we don’t know what’s going to happen.

Even in our darkness, there’s little bits of light that shine through- Lisa

“Life is a canvas that you just get to keep painting on” – Ted

Sometimes we need a huge moment to wake us up, to break us open, to peel back the layers.

“God I’m not done with you yet.” The issue wasn’t staying or going from the marriage.

“Christianity has writer’s block, they aren’t good at embracing mystery.” – Ted

“I don’t believe it’s a man, it’s all a big giant force that’s in the room with me.” – Lisa

“I am a recovering know it all” – Ted

“Embracing the mystery, God has become more big and beautiful” – Ted

It’s tough to put together the fragments of a 2,000 year old book.

“Electricity, love, marriage, keeping the faith is mystery.” – Ted

“We are all in the mystery, we are all in the same boat” – Ted

When God came in, and experience.

“Sometimes I don’t know if i should tell these stories, because I don’t know what they will do to people” – Ted

Escape became a very powerful thing, “Wow this is real dumb, I gotta give this up.”

We think it’s love, but it’s not love.

“Hold on, I’m just a guy, there’s no way I could make that feeling happen.” Being overcome with feeling while driving.

Was shown a vision of Aces, in a poker hand. “Something else was going on here. This was not coming from me, but from out there.”

Began rubbing his belly.

“Hey do you have a stomach ache?” “No, I feel like I have a baby in my belly” And then we all began to pray.

They thought I was going to be ill, they began yelling prayers at me, and then I was sick. At the end, I felt as though all of the evil had left me.

Physical manifestation of feelings or lessons.

“It’s not I, but it’s sin living in me” Paul, saying, I’m not a sinner, but it’s in me.

Sin: Being off the path

It will manifest within us if we are not being our best selves. It leads to disease. If we are hiding, or lying to ourselves.

“when you use a certain language over people it d

Sometimes the truth is so scary. We are so scared we’re going to die from that truth.

“it becomes easier and easier to stick our head in the sand, but you can’t breathe anymore” – Lisa

Lisa “Prayer is just a pep talk to ourselves” and wrote it off.

Then I dated a christian. He was super kind to the world, showed me how to be in service. I was drawn into this by the sex. I knew all of my friends would think I was weird.

I’ve learned that when I do prayer, or meditation, or mantra, it helps my brain stay straight.

“Having faith that the world is better than I imagine it to be.”

“My life is not about me.” The line I read in a book that I never read the rest of – Ted

“Prayer and worship for me is being grateful and thankful for a force outside myself” – Ted

What worship is like, am I in the moment, or is the moment in me. “He’s standing there and knows – The world is way bigger than me

“I hate to admit that I didn’t realize it wasn’t about me” – Lisa

It doesn’t matter why you’re helping others.

“When we are helping another, we are loving god”

Back to his friends house, He went to bed and he was full of love. The room was full of love, “Soft lightening striking my heart”.

Almost felt like it was too much love, he thought he might die.

We all want that religious experience! Instead of chasing the experience, I would way “whatever you want you got”

Try to figure out the wind.

“I’ve got friend who have experiences like this every day, and I want to punch them in the face!” – Ted

Not getting needs met, through sex adrenaline. 18 month shelf life.

Ted has been married 15 years, halfway through marriage realized he was over doing it, and learned to re-frame it, and see it differently.

Intimacy without sex.

“Far too many relationships fall short of the sweet place humans can experience” – Ted

“Father, Son, Holy Spirit, My Wife” She decides she’s going to love the leper.” now there is the message of god. His grace swooping me up in my most leprous moment. My wife, playing out the story of Christ in my living room” – Ted

“What is love: I’m going to stick with you through the changes.”

“Marriages are going to have storms”

“I authentically want him to thrive,”- Lisa  “You are on that grace-giving side of the equation” – Ted

His wife says she was filled with something that she couldn’t explain.

A Biblical story, the election.

[Tweet theme=”tweet-box-normal-blue”]”America has a stomach ache” – Lisa[/Tweet]

Have we been consuming too much junk food? Record gluten intolderance levels?

The emotions are so high and we aren’t doing anything about it. We want someone else to do it.

“I just sit here and want.” – Lisa

[Tweet theme=”tweet-box-normal-blue”]”I think we are all looking at ourselves today, we want to be a part of the movement” – Ted[/Tweet]

It’s not the traditional sense of giving back, we all have a gift maybe.

“My wife is a wonderful women. She levitates in this realm of wisdom” – Ted


The experience of being alive. Not doing something, not being aware of doing something. That is the gift of life.

“I thought I knew what humility was: playing a smaller role” – Lisa

[Tweet theme=”basic-white”]”When someone gives you language for what you’re going through.” – Ted[/Tweet]

When you find language for your own life, and others look in and learn something.

“I had a counselor named Mary that made me do visual art.” – Lisa

Ted was teaching seminars on marriage and porn, but didn’t see it.

He didn’t know how to love himself, wanted to be a savior, had the ego.

“We learn to be needy sometimes” – Ted

“I am living with pain, and i’m okay with that. But just saying that its’ starting to get better, I’m starting to understand it more.” – Ted


The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism (from School of Champions)

  1. Suffering exists
  2. Suffering arises from attachment to desires
  3. Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases
  4. Freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eightfold Path


“I know that god is for us, and loves us” – Ted

“I wish I could lean on my faith more” – Lisa

“It’s because I’m hungry, that I believe, it’s my appetite that tells me there’s a meal” – Ted

“I’m pulled, there’s something pulling me in this human gravity” – Ted

Theme in Christian blogging: How do you leave the God of your childhood?

[Tweet theme=”tweet-box-normal-blue”]”Scary for a little kind to think that praying the wrong way will get them killed” – Lisa[/Tweet]

Christians picking up Jewish traditions for the rhythm.

Ted teaches Lisa to pray to god in the closet.

“I never let myself be still” – Lisa

“for me to be quiet and think, what is it that I want, what do I feel. As a girl, I felt I wasn’t important” – Lisa

[Tweet theme=”tweet-box-normal-blue”]”It sounds like you’re at the ocean and you’re afraid to swim, but I think you’re at the ocean” – Ted[/Tweet]

“You don’t need permission, just swim.” – Ted

Surrender is so hard for people who grew up with little control.

“if you’re in atheist, you choosing not to believe in god” – Lisa

Why would you do that if something doesn’t exist?